don’t cry

things happen. people say things they shouldn’t. we all make mistakes, knowing and unknowingly. we all hurt people, whether or not we are conscious of it. even people who are supposedly higher in moral standards and spirituality.

I think i’ve found the strength to forgive and forget. lets all move on from here and learn. to my dear sister in christ who was feeling so terrible last night, don’t blame yourself ok? Not all rules are meant to be followed. sometimes we don’t follow rules, for reasons we know are valid and justified and will bring an outcome that honours God. I’m sure it’ll all turn out alright.

You didn’t hurt me in any way at all by telling me the truth. The truth hurts, but i think in the end i’d still have found out anyway. even if i don’t, the end result will be worse. imagine the distrust i will have of all the people around me, not knowing who it was that judged me so harshly. imagine the wedge and gap it will put between me and the church.

I’m really glad for your honesty and the courage to have come tell me what happened, even when u were told not to. From my view, i’m grateful to you. I’m sure the incharge had his reason for wanting to keep it from me. to protect me perhaps? but i’d say you know me better n knew i needed to know. even though i’m hurt by it, but i’m sure it’ll mould me, as well as the band.

I guess i didn’t know how much the whole thing hurt me until yest when the tears just poured. it had been brewing in my heart, n yest it overflowed.

but i’m better alrd. for all those who showed your concern, thank you. tears were shed, but wounds heal. :)

rest in Him

The pile of work to be done is amazingly huge, but i think what is even more amazing is that I’m not as stressed as I thought I’ll be. Am uber thankful for the peace and joy that comes from Him. and for placing such loving sisters in christ in my life! its a blessing to have adora n lulu keep me accountable n in prayer, especially in this time of chiong-ing for midterms. :) 

Had Gen12 meeting on Fri. Was so happy to see the bunch! there’s alwasy so much laughter and joy with them. n it was also a much needed reminder that tho we’re back in the hustle bustle of school, God’s work still goes on back in Pattaya, and in all parts of the world. Can’t wait for the next gen12 meet!

anyway, this is what my niece is up to when i’m not at home. She’s always gg into my room doing random stuff. this time, the evidence was in my camera. haha. silly girl who didn’t bother/forgot to delete evidence of her playing with the camera.

to shehui: she’s no longer 3 yrs old ok? haha. pri 1 this year alrd.

self portrait -.-

 

her feet propped up on my bookshelf. must have been reclining in my chair.

She is irritating at times. very irritating. but i love her. :)

i don’t want to think of a title for this post

I had drums lesson yesterday. As usual, it was an absolute blast and I had a lot of fun!! Joshua laoshi never fails to make me laugh. n my own ridiculous mistakes when drumming nv fail to make me laugh too.

poured out to him my complaint and dissatisfaction/disappointment abt some church stuff. n in him i saw what it meant to be gentle – to have strength and power but choosing not to use it. i don’t know what made me feel that way but at that moment when he was ‘counselling’ me, that was the feeling i got. anyway, he told me to ask God to make me less rebellious, and to just keep my cool for the moment. oh wells.

today was DG. Thank God for Adora and Myra. :) Its really great to have such sisters in Christ who I can share with, and who I know will keep me accountable. To feel loved amidst the busyness of school n individualism shown by the rest is a privilege. :)

i’ve 3 tests n a midterm next week. grr. there’s hardly time to prepare at all since lessons are still going on and there’re other projs to prepare for. but to look on the bright side, it means I get to have a good break in the recess week that comes after.

alright know what i want to do in the recess week – NOTHING. on second thought, maybe shopping?

night bike!

NIGHT BIKE!! it was damn shiok. Lingyi’s right. night bike is damn fun lor!! but no lingyi that doesn’t mean i want to join smux to help plan yea. haha.

first time i cycled for 12 hours! from 7.30pm to 7.30am! of course there were stops in between lar. but still, it was a total ofr 67 km!! 67 km leh!! WA! to the pro cyclists it’s actually just peanuts. but to me that’s A LOT. the theme was fear is wheel, pun to ferris wheel. the name’s lame, but it was fun. highlight of the ‘fear factor’ was walking through a cemetery. to me it was more novelty than fear.

i was blessed to have a really nice and encouraging team. i signed up with widad, ahkar and ellen, and ellen n widad both got injured. was pretty touched by the kindness and encouragement shown by the team and the gl.

i want to go night bike again!! damn fun! tho it wld have been even more fun if dad and ellen stayed w the team till the end. there’ll be so much more entertainment w the both of them! we rode at a pretty leisurely pace, so my legs aren’t hurting much. n the butt pain is also qt minimal. yay :)

on to other stuff, planning for common slot for DG is a headache. n its beginnig to feel more like a chore. which is bad.

依依不舍

I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would. That was cos i was valiently trying to control myself so that the tears brimming at fang’s eyes won’t roll onto her cheeks. but still. it doesn’t feel good to send a friend off. especially when the friend is one I hold dear to my heart. it ached to see her off, knowing that she won’t be amongst us. but oh well, i guess distance will be a test to the friendship.

like what shehui once said, 友谊就像一棵树，需要我们施肥与浇水，才能成长为茁壮的大树… i hope this particular tree will grow strong and sturdy :)

anyway, its time to post photos. these were taken at the farewell dinner we cooked for lanfang.

cheese cake plus red wine :)

at the random bbq we had a few weeks ago:

For the rest of the photos, get them in facebook yea? Will put them there soon.

wonderful day :)

Today I learnt not to impose my own standards on other people. Not to judge, but to love. Not to demand for explanation, but to understand w compassion. not easy, but i’m trying.

anyway, meihui shi en ber and i cooked for Lanfang!! see how lucky she is? we cook for her leh!! haha. The food was good, company was even better. pics will be up soon, when i have the energy for that. they left at 11 plus, den i proceeded to sweep the floor den bathed. that lanfang cried twice in a day. once when syjia cried in church, and once at my house. we were in my room w orange lights and just chatting. n i cried too then. :( Lanfang I’ll miss you!!

the night was fun, w our stupid jokes abt the stuffed toys i have on my bed. the pooh bear eeyore n piglet from shehui. *smelly feet makes the pooh bear go dizzy*. this phrase doesn’t make sense now but at that time it was pretty hilarious.

sigh. long day ahead tmr. off to slp!!

in a train ride

Cheap thrill #1

 

Reading fellow train commuters’ newspaper over their shoulder

 

Cheap thrill #2

 

Secretly laughing when I see other people doing the same thing

HAHA.